Heartbeat
by SpaceNShit
Summary: Kirk and Spock are abducted and separated by an alien race of telepaths and go through many hardships, eventually developing and exploring their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! This is my very first K/S fanfiction and honestly the first thing I've written in years. Hopefully it will get a little better as I go along, feeling out the characters. Feedback is appreciated, and thanks for reading! Long live the Space Husbands!**

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"On viewscreen!" James Kirk barked the order, bracing himself in the command chair.

The bridge halted to a pause, heads whipping around to stare at the image that soon appeared on the monitor. A fuzzy outline of space hovered out there next to a small mauve moon. Even closer, a strange craft eerily approached the Enterprise.

"Mister Spock, what is this?" His voice remained calm, urging a swift answer out of his first officer. This had been a routine area inspection, with no planets or lifeforms recorded.

"Captain, there appears to be a moon with no lifeforms, however.. The area that is potentially cloaked is giving off enough organic energy to suggest an extremely large civilization. Whatever is disguising the planet is preventing any further inquiry. The ship.. Unknown original and markings." Spock had spun to face the command chair, occasionally glancing and gesturing toward the viewscreen.

"Shields up. Yellow alert. This shouldn't even be here...You have nothing else for me?" Kirk trailed off with the irritated question, standing from his chair and squinting up as they all watched the foreign ship gain speed in their direction.

Unable to answer his captain's question, Spock turned and resumed looking into the scanner hood at his science station. There were only silent seconds before he felt a phaser point pressed into the back of his neck. A few low shrieks echoed around the bridge as he straightened and took in the unbelievable change on their starship.

At first they looked humanoid but upon close-range examination, Spock realized the dozens of aliens now threatening each of the crew were far from Terran origin. Their skin looked gaunt and jaundice, the orange hue stark against the clean primary colors assigned to the ship. Their iridescent clothing clung to bulky, muscled bodies and varied in bright tones of red. The one nearest him spoke, twitching the small hole that barely resembled a mouth. Onboard translators helped them all as the aliens briefly explained their takeover.

"We require your minds. Mind. Most mindful of you. We take."

Only now that vague intentions were made aware did Spock dare to look over at his captain. Kirk stood with two of the beings at his front and rear, hands up in defense but his eyes shone with rage and disbelief. He eyed the creatures before answering, trying to gage their strength while they were clearly outnumbered. Was it just the bridge? Did each of his four hundred crew now face a weapon and threats?

"I am Captain James T. Kirk and the Enterprise is here on behalf of the United Federation of Planets. Put your weapons down and we can discuss what it is you're seeking by taking over _my_ ship." It was so difficult to keep his tone neutral.

"This mind.. We require you." The creature standing behind Kirk had answered and lowered its phaser to communicate with its ship through a keypad strapped to the orange wrist. Spock's mind was racing, attempting to divine what might happen next. His mouth was strained in a frown the moment he noticed Kirk was surrounded but this was possibly his only chance. Quickly hurdling over the metal rail separating his station from the main command deck, he pulled away from his own attacker and effectively pounced onto the creature who had lowered its weapon.

As they both landed, the landscape changed drastically. The florescent light of the Enterprise bridge blinked out and a red smoky air nearly choked the Vulcan. Beside him, but standing, he heard Kirk's recognizable coughing. They had been beamed to the cloaked planet, which instantly attacked their lungs with its violent atmosphere. Spock could barely make out the aliens that had traveled with them- Only about half of the count he had taken on the ship had come along and apparently only he and the Captain were brought down. He watched as Kirk was efficiently gagged and blindfolded before his own vision was muted with a cloth over his eyes.

After walking for a short distance, Spock heard a door shift open and the temperature change suggesting that they had come into a structure with cooler air. Through his nose he could still pull oxygen and now it was even easier to breathe. A few more turns then doorway sounds and the captors had apparently found their destination. Both men were thrown to the ground, blindfolds coming off in one motion.

"Mind test is soon. Rest." The doors slid shut in unison.

Kirk looked around frantically, taking in the new surroundings and they indeed looked as grim as the situation seemed. Spock was not in his room, which was entirely white and reminded him of old world Earth mental institution cells. It was various surfaces of hard glass, painted metal bars and some kind of soft looking material padding.

"Spock! Spock, are you here?" The captain ripped off his gag and threw it at the bars which sparked at the contact. He hadn't actually seen his First Officer come in with him and the thought of being entirely alone in this began to make his heart race.

"Jim.. I am here. In another cell, but nearby according to the volume of your voice. Are you injured?" Spock had to raise his voice to be heard but he still sounded a bit monotone even in light of being kidnapped.

"No.. No, I don't think they mean to actually hurt us. For now.. Please tell me you have some theories."

"I know no more than you at this moment. The rooms appear secure and we have no weapons or communication device. I surmise we have no choice but to do as they will. I am sensing telepathic frequency but it is unlike any I recognize."

"Great." Jim threw back sarcastically and sat on the hard cement floor. He leaned forward, arms propping up his head and began formulating plots and plans of when his captors returned. Knowing Spock would be doing the same, the silence lingered between the two cells. The stress of the day had been almost too much for even the invincible Kirk. Within moments, the captain had fallen asleep propped up on his elbows.

He must have been dreaming. It had been too long since a sense of peace had melted into his dreams like this. There were flashes the Vulcan, his friend. First just business and the day to day exchanges between them. Slowly the images began to hold something more- A connection that truly didn't make any sense. The odds of this friendship were against them, weren't they? Even the hesitant, teasing smile that Kirk had finally pulled from the other man just days before..

Kirk woke quickly to a sharp prodding on his shoulder and the harsh reality of what he opened his eyes to seemed even worse after such a pleasant rest. One of the creatures stood over his folded frame and was holding a stick which appeared to be the culprit of the painful jabs he was still receiving.

"I'm awake! What do you want with us?"

"Mind test now. Stand and come." The alien stared blankly at Kirk as it spoke and gestured upward and toward the door.

Seeing no alternative and still completely unsure of what was to come, he followed the instructions. Carefully and slowly he stood and made his way, still being tapped, to the cell door which opened from an unknown sensor. The hall that met him was lined with other bright-skinned beings and his heart plunged. Escape would be impossible.

"Alright! I'm walking.. You don't have to keep poking me. Where is my companion?"

There was no sound from any of the other cells and he strained to see inside any of them as they passed. The lack of Spock's presence was not helping his feeling of sudden panic. A few turns later, the alien grunted toward a room off his the right. After entering, the familiar sound of electric doors shutting and locking sent shivers up his spine.

The room looked like a larger version of the cell he had just come from, with a solitary chair in the center. Above it hung wires and helmets of all shapes and sizes, seeming to float inches from the headrest. Kirk looked around once again, frantically searching for some way.. Some escape route. The room had only one entrance and that option was gone. The creature prodded him further until he stumbled into the chair and before he could jump back up again, metal plates pressed against both of his temple and straps latched themselves across his lap and chest. He reached up to pull them off and found they felt like strong magnets- Too strong to pull off without taking chunks of his precious head along with.

Yet again, the room went dark.

The dim hum of a transporter beam had just finished when Kirk opened his eyes to consciousness. The splitting headache hit immediately, preventing him from even trying to stagger up. After rubbing his eyes and face to wake up a bit more, he dared to look around the new surroundings. It was outside.. Different atmosphere than the smoky red dust of the cloaked planet. He could barely see, only shadows upon shadows of rocks and piles of dirt haphazardly around him. In a dark pink sky above him, the alien planet loomed and then vanished behind a wavering blanket of stars and black space.

"Spock..?"

The captain was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Was just reading Killing Time tonight and got inspired to pump out another chapter! Finally I'm feeling the plot going where I want to it.. Thanks for reading! 3**

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Heartbeat - Chapter 2

"Jim! Captain!"

Spock had tried to call out when the creatures came. Unable to see outside of his own secured cell, he had to assume that his partner in bondage was either missing or sleeping. The three aliens that entered the room seemed ready for a fight and all held their strangely designed phasers right at his head. Taking a deep breath to control the onslaught of fear that was bubbling up from within, Spock stood and was ushered out of the room.

"What have you done with the Captain? It is illogical to remain silent and stubborn to my questions."

There came no response, other than an annoyed whine from within a closed alien mouth- He wasn't even sure which one it came from. Soon they were entering a chamber that looked like an operation room. It was white and sterile and the chemical cleanliness burned his sensitive Vulcan nose. It was deeply humiliating to be walked like a dog and strapped into a medical chair as he was. Reason, logic, and strength had saved him in the past. Maybe now it would help?

"I have very strong telepathic barriers. If you intend on prying into my mind, I will fight you. As will Captain Kirk."

The head gear lowered and suctioned onto his temples immediately. Metal plates burned where they touched his olive skin, and his veins began rising to the surface as he strained against the chair and straps. The three beings had disappeared as soon as the procedure began, behind a wall to some sort of observation area. Many eyes watched him as he felt his mind being pried open.

It was like being violated in a more horrific way than he had ever imagined. Every thought, fear, hope and dream he kept in check were splayed out for the entire alien race to see. They shared it telepathically with eachother and there were so many. Everywhere. He felt them bathing in his despair and analyzing the way his mind worked. Spock's body was reacting to whatever extraction process this was and he vaguely felt blood vessels bursting under his skin. Green bruises formed where he pulled helplessly at the chair. Eventually the pain building in his chest pulled him into a slightly shielding plane of unconsciousness.

Kirk stood dumbfounded on what he could only assume was the orbiting moon around the red planet. His organs seemed too large for his body as he paced a few yards and tried to adjust to the strange, heavy gravity and almost too thin air. Boots struck rocks and patches of dust but also something hollow. It was difficult to see in the dim light cast from stars and the far away sun, so he leaned down and gingerly picked up a large piece of the ivory rubble scattered all around.

"Oh, my god.."

It was bone. A partial skull laid in his hand, obviously not human. It had a high forehead, angular jaw and horn-like bumps across the top ridge of the crown. There had been other lifeforms beamed here and they had apparently never left. The light whisper of wind passing by only made his shivering worse as he dropped the alien skull and cringed at the sound of it breaking on other bones. Now as he walked he pictured what was crunching beneath him, and the only immediate thought was to get away from the graveyard he had been transported to. Even fatigued as he was, he began to run and peeled his eyes for signs of Spock.

"Commander Scott!" Uhura spun so fast in her chair she nearly came back around to face the console that was flashing lights.

"Report?" Scotty had barely sat in the captain's chair. Since his two commanding officers had been abducted, it was a next in line sort of assignment. He still felt uncomfortable and opted to stand beside it, arching his neck back so that he could look at the communications officer.

"I've been continuing scans of the planet and surrounding moon since it decloaked a few hours ago. The moon is now showing signs of a potential lifeform- A human lifeform, sir! It could be the captain or Mister Spock!"

Hope blossomed onto the face of Commander Scott, and he took a more confident stance. A gut feeling was enough to confirm his next orders.

"Contact the transporter room and have them beam it up! I don't care what it is- Have a security detail waiting.. But if it is one of them. There's a chance.."

Spock was not on the moon. That was the most heart wrenching feeling and Kirk could not seem to stop imagining what might have happened or be happening to him wherever he was. The bone piles had stopped after an hour of walking but now there was nothing to even look at. Stopping to rest, Kirk glanced up at the sky and saw particles wavering before him. Vision blurred and blanked out and the pink sky suddenly morphed into the ceiling of the Enterprise's transporter pad. He tilted his head at it and squinted until the image cleared and he felt his body sigh in relief at the temperature regulating.

"Captain!"

It was almost in unison as the crowded transporter room welcomed him back onto the ship. Scotty was the first face he spotted out of the red clad crew members, and the sight of his friend almost brought tears. The rest of the security team lowered their weapons and dispersed so the captain would have enough room to step off the pad. Kirk had definitely looked rough returning from other botched missions, but he certainly felt worse than he ever had. His skin still tingled from whatever mind exploration the creatures had done and the rough treatment had caused the wrists of his uniform to fray and rip almost to the elbows. Still, even a rugged captain aboard was better than none.

"Mister Scott. I can't even tell you how good it is to see you and the gang, here. However the hell you pulled off that stunt- Good job! The creatures aren't on the ship?"

"Aye, sir. They left when you lot did. They only took you and Mister Spock and we heard nothing for over a day! Sir.. Where is our science officer? " Scotty's tone leapt from proud to solemn, as he inquired about the Vulcan and obviously did not expect to hear good news in return.

Kirk was almost hoping that Spock had beat him back aboard. He wanted to see a blue shirt among the red and the stoic face in a sea of smiles.

"He.. must still be on the planet. I was somehow beamed from the planet to the moon- Where obviously you were able to pick up my readings. Keep scanning the moon and beam aboard anything that comes up immediately!"

"Aye, Captain!"

The only blue uniform that suddenly appeared was McCoy's. The doctor practically stormed through the automatic doors and personally grabbed Kirk by his upper arm. "Welcome back and all that, but I knew you'd be back. And a mess. You're coming to sickbay before you sneak off anywhere else! And fill me in on what exactly I should be looking for this time."

McCoy's irritated voice held more than a litte fondness and the squeeze on Kirk's arm let him know he was in good hands now. The captain shrugged at Scotty and gave him a slightly apologetic look as they passed and he was pulled out of the transporter room.

Now that he was back aboard the beautiful Enterprise, Kirk could and would use her every resource to find Spock. He _would_ find Spock.


	3. Chapter 3

**Let's dig a little deeper into this lovely friendship now, shall we? **

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Heartbeat - Chapter 3

The days that passed were excruciating. Six full days of the same scans and the same questions were presented to his crew. Kirk had ordered them all to work extended hours and try new, experimental beaming techniques to break through the barrier shielding the planet. It was becoming clear that the ship and ultimately the crew was failing the job of bringing Spock back and the negativity was creeping into his mood.

Life on the Enterprise with someone else at the science station was so hard to even imagine. Someone else asking him to play chess or talk for hours over nightcaps and tea. They would probably be too loud or too obnoxious. Essentially, no one could fill Spock's shoes as his First officer or as his friend.

"I'm going to go rest for awhile. Sulu, you have the conn."

Kirk stepped down from the boxy command chair and found his way to the turbolift. He kept his eyes down the rest of the trek to his quarters. A few passerby crewmen halted to strike up conversation but thought otherwise when they noticed the look of utter defeat on their captain's face. When the doors finally slid shut and he was alone in the quarters he finally allowed himself to collapse. Luckily, the bed was easy to find and he fell face first onto the regulation blankets that were bunched up. He hadn't bothered to make his bed, tidy up, or do anything except be on the bridge and lead the search.

His body and mind were still recovering and though he hid it well from McCoy, whatever the aliens had done to him was taking its time healing. Not that he had any telepathic tendencies to begin with, but now his mind felt numb. Intuition seemed strained where before he had never even questioned his own ideas and inspirations. The most depressing realization however, was that his small mental connection with Spock seemed entirely severed. It was very possible the man was dead.

Sheer exhaustion quickly lulled the captain to a few hours of sleep.

A loud, constant beeping woke Jim from his deep slumber and he somehow raised a hand to the button that allowed whatever message was so important to echo into his quarters. He didn't want to even sit up, so instead readjusted himself on the bed to look at the work station on the bedside table. Scotty's thick accent was a little hard to decipher upon waking.

"Captain! Captain, answer us or we'll have to send someone down to break down your door!"

"Not necessary, Mister Scott.. I was sleeping. Go ahead with your report."

"We have Commander Spock! Scanners picked up a faint sign of life on the moon, just as it happened when we recovered you! He was just beamed into the transporter room and I imagine sickbay is about to receive him. The lifeform was quite weak, sir."

Words quite literally escaped him.

"Sir? .. Sir, did you read me? We found him!"

"Y-yes, Scotty. I just needed a moment. I'll be in sickbay immediately."

Slamming down the communication button, Kirk jumped off of the bed with renewed energy. He hadn't bothered to remove his boots or uniform, so the only delay was peering into a mirror to make sure he didn't look like a maniac. A little tired, but presentable for the crew. He could just picture the tightly wound officers losing faith in him if he walked around looking homeless. Even after the news he just received.

After all those days, Spock was still alive? The creatures had seemed to have no desire to kill the captain, but with the time that had elapsed Kirk had honestly just about given up. It had been difficult to convince Starfleet to let him keep their flagship in orbit around a potentially dangerous planet and even then he had been ignoring their next mission orders for almost a full day already.

Unsure of the exact condition of the Vulcan, Jim hurried to sickbay. It seemed to take his feet forever to carry him through the corridors and up a few decks but when he finally arrived it was to a very full medical ward. McCoy could be heard barking at people to leave and stop gawking.

Jim's first view of Spock almost took his breath away. The poor man looked like a battered wax figure laying on one of the sterile, hard beds. His skin tone was flushed with more green than he had ever seen before. Bruises ranging in all colors scattered across any bits of skin exposed- Which was a large area, since the blue science top was gone and Spock only wore his regulation pants. His feet were bare and looked burned on the bottom. At least four medical personnel stood over him with tricorders but Kirk shoved his way through the small crowd until he stood at the foot of the bed. He had to lean on the bed to steady himself.

"Bones.. How bad? They didn't really touch me this aggressively. I don't understand why this even happened.. Do what you can. .. Please, Bones."

The doctor nodded at the request and was silent a moment before answering Jim's questions. The tricorder continued its initial scanning of the Vulcan.

"You know I don't have vast experience in his biology. I'll do what I can but its as if every part of him had internal bleeding. I'm surprised he hasn't busted open! As far as consciousness.. Jim, I think he's comatose."

"Comatose? He could be a vegetable? Good God, Bones."

The unnecessary onlookers were finally leaving, and the few that remained took the hint from the tone of the conversation and turned on their heels. The captain gingerly reached out to touch Spock's leg and he was shocked to not feel their mental connection renew. In the past, even the smallest of grazes caused their unintentional bond to flare up. Sometimes he could even tell the Vulcan's mood from such touches. Now, there was nothing. Not even pain.

The lights had been dimmed in sickbay to accommodate night time on the ship. There were other patients sleeping but Spock was isolated in his own area that was easy for medical staff to get to in a hurry. Every few minutes one of the nurses came back and checked his monitor readings that showed no change.

Jim had been given a chair which he placed as close to the bed as possible. It crunched his knees against the hard metal of the bed but he wanted to be that close. If Spock woke up, he wanted the man to see his closest friend first. In desperation, he was holding the Vulcan's hand in both of his own. There was nothing to do but stare and pray.

McCoy had someone clean up the man earlier, wiping off any crusty green blood that remained from small cuts all over his body. The cuts looked like crude surgical incisions and they were more frequent on his spine and head. The pointed ears had many cuts every few centimeters so that cartilage was exposed but were now wrapped in gauze that looked like old fashioned headphones. It was startling, Jim found, how much that affected him. Each injury on his friend was like a knife straight into his heart.

"Hang in there, Spock. Please.."

Eventually he let his torso lean onto the blanket that lightly covered Spock, and Jim allowed himself some rest. He didn't sleep, but kept those hazel eyes glued to the heart monitor on the wall above the bed. At least there was a heartbeat.

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**Alriiiight! Now that they are back in each other's physical space its much easier to write their angst/love. :D Feedback is awesome! Thanks for reading, lovelies!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have so many ideas for fics that I'm pumping through this one.. Chapters updated as quick as I can write them! Look for more of my fics soon! :D**

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Heartbeat - Chapter 4

Jim's own personal pride in his command was the only thing keeping him going to each shift on the bridge and he had to admit, his heart wasn't in it. As soon as he got off each evening, the captain quickly ate a bare bones meal and was still finishing his last bite by the time he was sitting back in sickbay next to Spock.

There had been no change in the Vulcan, aside from his external wounds progressively healing. The green tinge to his skin had lightened almost to its normal olive tint. Once or twice McCoy informed Kirk that he had missed a finger twitch or an eyelid flutter but it hadn't amounted to anything.

Since he didn't enjoy to be utterly useless, Jim had brought a few things that required his signatures and attention from his quarters. Next to Spock, he had set up a small table and was working in the dim light. Being that he was off duty, he removed his boots and the golden command shirt had been replaced with a black regulation tshirt.

The crew in sickbay continued their duties around the two men, but in the later evening they had some privacy as the medical staff dispersed into skeleton crew. Kirk took a break from his reading and turned his attention back to Spock. He couldn't help but look up at the readings every few seconds, as if his attentions would change their status.

McCoy was hovering over him for a moment before the captain actually noticed the man's presence.

"His heart can't take racing like that. We all know Vulcans have their own way of healing.. I sure as hell hope that's what's happening here, Jim. Another week like this and there could be permanent damage."

"Isn't there already? He's been comatose for a week now.. Isn't his brain being affected?"

"I really wish I could tell you one way or the other. But its a strange coma.. It looks to me like one, but a few of the nurses are insisting they have heard stories of Vulcans meditating their way out of injuries like this."

"It doesn't even seem like he's in there, Bones.."

"He is. Its not like you to lose hope like this. Give it a little more time.. I'm off now. Do you want me to stay..?"

"I don't think it'll change anything.. I'll be fine here alone."

"Well, call me in the morning then."

The doctor looked awkwardly at Jim as he tried to joke and even threw a silly sort of smile his way. He miserably returned the grin and then turned back to Spock, obviously dismissive.

After the swishing doors signaled McCoy's exit, Kirk grabbed up his friend's hand again. His calloused fingers stroked the newly healed skin and without thinking and he lowered his cheek to rest against the knuckles. It was somehow comforting, this touch. He couldn't seem to get enough of holding the Vulcan's hand, and had hope that each time he did he might feel a tiny tug of their connection renewing.

-

The captain could not help but think, in his silent moments at Spock's side, how this journey to the planet and for Spock, journey close to death, had made clear some feelings that he had never been able to previously categorize. Not that they needed labels, but Kirk had decided almost two weeks into Spock's coma that if the man woke up.. Things might be different.

He wanted to tell Spock how he ached for their casual comfort in each other. Jim missed it horribly. Other company aboard the ship could not hold a candle to the fulfillment he felt when they spent time together. Whether it was working as a perfect team on the bridge or the personal free time that they had always spent together without ever making such agreement or plan.

Of course, it scared him a little to think that voicing his feelings aloud might scare off what he cherished so.

-

The Enterprise had moved on to its next mission and Starfleet had made it an easy one so the crew and captain could ease back into their duties. A simple patrol, far away from the system where they had been abducted. It had been officially stated for all ships and missions to stay clear of the area for now. Kirk was more than happy to obey that order, and as he told Spock their current situation, stated so out loud in his report to the comatose man.

The corner of the Vulcan's mouth twitched upward into.. a smirk? Half of a smile?

Jim's breath caught and he stood up, nearly tipping the chair backward. He braced both hands at Spock's shoulders and couldn't help but shake a few times. The perfect black hair shook messily as he tousled the man.

"Spock! Spock! Stay with my voice!"

Assuming the hypothesis that there was deep meditation going on was correct, he wanted to find Spock's consciousness and lead it to where it belonged. He'd had long enough to heal, according to Jim.

"Spock.. You're in sickbay. We have everything you need to continue healing, you just have to wake up! Wake! Up!"

The Vulcan's eyes remained closed but his lips opened and closed silently a number of times. His fingertips kneaded against the white sickbay sheets and eventually fisted a hand full of cloth as if using the grip to anchor himself to reality.

"That's it! You don't need to stay inside your mind. Its been two weeks.. Let me help you."

Kirk was a ball of emotions, stored up from days of worrying about his best friend in the universe.

"Captain.. Jim, there is.. no.. need to raise your voice." Spock's deep whisper was barely audible through his open mouth but it was loud enough.

"You spend two weeks in a coma and that's the first remark you want to say to me? Well.. Fine. As long as you keep talking, you can correct me all you want."

He left Spock momentarily, not taking his eyes off the man in case he began slipping back into the coma. On the wall, Jim fumbled for the communicator and switched on the direct link to McCoy's quarters.

"Guess our favorite Vulcan decided he had enough beauty sleep! Spock's waking up! Get down here!"

"Healing meditation is.. hardly beauty sleep."

"You just keep talking, my friend." Jim was positively beaming.


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is pretty dialog heavy and I love it. Enjoy!**

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Heartbeat - Chapter 5

Scotty stood on the bridge by the communication console, loitering slightly at Uhura's side. He flashed uncertain glances toward a stranger who currently sat in the command chair. It was the third time Kirk had called off from his shift.

"Do you think he's with Commander Spock again?"

"Yes. Until Spock is back at his post, I suppose we should expect more of this from the captain."

"Aye.." Scotty sighed and shook his head. It was glaringly obvious that in this mess Spock had become at least slightly more important than duty or the Enterprise. At least to Kirk, anyway.

"Spock.."

"Yes, captain?"

Jim sat cross legged on the floor of the Vulcan's quarters sifting through the PADDs he had brought with him to feel less guilty about abandoning his bridge shift. After a few days of monitoring and testing, Spock had been released from sickbay under strict orders that he would rest and most importantly, stay in bed. McCoy had little information from the testing, except that he was still worried about possible brain damage and recommended Spock stay still as much as possible until his tissue healed.

"Have you noticed a, uh.. change? You know, how you've needed to mind meld with me for the sake of missions in the past. I always felt a lingering bit of that connection. Once the ship beamed me up, I didn't feel it anymore."

"Does this disturb you, Jim?"

Spock turned his head only slight degrees to face the other man, eyebrows raised but his lips remained in the flat line of apathy he usually sported.

"Well, it just feels strange. I don't know how else to put it.. Can you tell a difference or was it just me?"

"I, too, have felt our bond fade away. I did not know you felt its effects."

"Yeah, I guess it never has come up. Especially when we touched, I could feel your mind. Like an echo.."

"You sound as if you were fond of the feeling."

"I didn't really pay much attention to it until it was gone. I guess I miss it a little.."

Jim came to his feet and straightened his cotton green shirt. Since he had excused himself from work, he felt comfortable clothes were more practical than a uniform. After all, he was tending to a sick man.

"I suppose if I were to mind meld with you now, it would, assuming my brain is functioning correctly, rebuild that bond. Perhaps we will have that necessity in the future."

"Sure. For a mission or something.."

Silence followed Kirk's voice and he watched as Spock shifted on the bed, carefully adjusting himself under the light sheets. Now did not seem like the ideal time to go on his emotional rant of feelings he had discovered while the other man was comatose. Instead, he began gathering his items from the floor and turned toward the door.

"Have I somehow offended you?"

"No, no. I just suddenly feel tired, Spock. I guess I'll get a nap out of my sick leave. You all right if I leave for a while?"

"I will use the time to meditate my body to further healing. Sleep well, Jim."

Once the doors slid shut, Spock let out a loud breath that he had been holding. The remaining pain in his head and various spots of bruising on his torso were causing him distress and now he needed to think on what his friend had just confessed. Not only did Jim originally feel the bond between them, he quite obviously enjoyed it. Spock had been troubled by the lack of connection, but as he thought he was the only one who felt it, intended to dismiss the burden.

It was confusing to think about. Jim had obviously been concerned about him and still was. The Vulcan remembered glimpses of the captain leaning over his bed. Had he been praying? Once or twice he felt someone hold his hand and now it made sense that the someone was Jim.

There was also the analyzing of his own internal response when he finally opened his eyes and saw the thrilled expression that greeted him. Had his heart sped up, watching Jim smile and prance about sickbay? He slowly reached up and felt for the Vulcan heart at his side, applying pressure with two fingers. Closing his eyes, Spock pictured his captain. Hazel eyes staring into his as they shared a joke or important exchange. The beat changed dramatically following his thoughts.

"Fascinating.."

Back in his own quarters, Jim threw himself onto his bed. Not at all in the mood for sleeping, he stared up at the ceiling and began sifting through his feelings. He was a genius strategist and now he needed to plan the best way to approach Spock. How could he confess all that he was feeling without sounding like he was in love with the man? He just wanted him to know and confirm that he wasn't crazy for noticing their .. brotherhood? No, that wasn't it.

They were closer than brothers. Even that possibility of Spock never returning to his life was too hard to look back on now.

Slowly, he began picturing his First Officer in a much different light. It was a long nap in which he did a plenty of soul searching.

Spock had fallen asleep after meditating and he was startled back to the waking world by pounding on his door, followed by the beeps of his door comm. It took him a moment to compose himself, wiping sleep out from his dark eyes and adjusting the sheets. His bandaged torso was bare and felt strange in the cool air of his quarters so he tucked the sheets under his arms to feel more modest.

"Come."

As he expected, Jim came through the door after the confirmation of admittance. He wore the same clothing as before but a more significant ruggedness marred the rest of him. His golden hair stood awry on one side and the expression on his face looked a bit flustered.

"I'm sorry to wake you, Spock. I just need to talk. You're always good for when I need to talk. Can I sit?"

He had grabbed a chair, sliding it over next to the bed and before the Vulcan could confirm, he sat down.

"You are the only human I can permit to do so at your leisure, captain. Continue."

"I.. really don't know how to start. I just feel like I was dwelling on something for the entire time you were in the coma and all I could think of was sharing my thoughts with you. Now I'm at a loss as to how.."

"May I suggest starting at the beginning? You are being quite vague, Jim."

"I was losing my mind when I thought you might be dead. It made me realize just how.. important you are to me, Spock. I wanted to speak this out loud. Incase anything ever happens again. You are.. the most important person. I have never had this connection - bond or not - with anyone before."

"I agree, we are quite close."

"Yes, but.."

Shaking his head, Kirk stared hard at the wall. He truly could not put into words what he needed to say. Now that Spock was not in a coma and could speak back or reject him it was a million times harder. Instead of fumbling over more useless words, he leaned over and took the other man by his shoulders. He almost winced, not feeling the bond and noticed the hollow feeling in his chest more pronounced. There was no protest thus far from the man beneath him. Shocked and empowered by his own courage, Jim very slowly leaned down and placed a delicate, chaste kiss at the corner of Spock's lips.

"I think I might be in love with you."


	6. Chapter 6

**I think there shall be one more chapter after this! Be sure to look for my other fics soon! Thanks so much for reading and supporting my first fanfic!**

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Heartbeat - Chapter 6

Jim pulled his head back up but held his position on top of the Vulcan, his hands pinning down well-muscled shoulders. He searched the eyes that met his gaze and looked a bit like a scared puppy while he awaited the reply that would soon come. Spock's eyebrows were almost hidden in surprise under his disheveled black hair that had grown a little more ragged since his abduction and rescue.

"Jim.. I think you are reacting strangely to this situ-"

"No! Just hear me out. It makes sense, Spock."

Although he hadn't truly been expecting a confession of secret love back, a lump in his throat appeared as he swallowed back some of the overwhelming emotion. Allowing his hands to fall away from their grip, Jim crumpled to a seat on the side of the bed. He looked around at Spock's quarters slowly, knowing that his friend would not interrupt his thought process. The Vulcan decoration of the room made him feel at ease, despite its rigid edged patterns. It was so very Spock.

"I know it isn't logical. Hell, it doesn't even really make sense in my head. I'm just.. being honest. But follow my thoughts here. We were in a terrifying situation down there- You, especially. I know that I was concerned for my own hide but I was also worried to the core about you."

"You must know I had little concern for myself, Captain. The lack of your presence was profoundly disturbing. .. Continue."

Entertaining the short interruption, Kirk nodded enthusiastically at the other man. That small admission was like reading a book about years of Spock's life since he was usually so vague and tight lipped. When the First Officer spoke so little, he had learned to read between the finely worded lines. At least Spock was following him so far.

"Exactly. Then after we recovered you, I sat with you and watched painstakingly for any sign that you would come back to me. I guess in those quiet hours in sickbay..I noticed that I've felt this strongly for you for a long time.."

"Forgive me, captain. Was it you that held my hand while I was in healing meditation state?"

".. Yes."

"You know well by now that I am fascinated by your human emotions. Curious, to find my own human half reasoning the answer to my questionable feelings."

"Questionable feeling..?"

"When I felt someone with me through those painful days, I had hoped it was you."

After talking in circles for at least an hour, Spock had very suddenly fallen back to sleep. He had been looking at Jim, staring obviously at his lips as the captain tried desperately to explain his earlier action. Then in the next moment, the Vulcan's eyes were closed and his breath came evenly in small puffs.

Conceding to a break in their conversation, Jim did not wake the other man up again. He watched as the olive skinned face relaxed into innocent peace. He could tell Spock was feeling much better just by his sleeping pattern. Instead of retreating to his quarters for the night, he folded his legs up and took up the small amount of room next to his friend on the single bed. It was a tight squeeze and Kirk momentarily thought about hitting the gym a bit more frequently if they were ever going to sleep in a bed this small together in the future. He was grinning as he let himself fall asleep.

Spock woke first in the ship's morning and having rested extremely well, he felt quite spry. His surroundings all felt comforting as he took them in, until his gaze fell upon the blonde man sprawled carefully beside him. The captain looked like he had slept the entire night in the exact position he now lay. He was nearly falling off of the side, except for one hand clutching where the bed frame met the wall- His only lifeline.

Smirking silently, Spock recalled the evening's events. It had been a surprise, certainly. But at no time had he protested or made it known if he felt differently than Kirk. Indeed, similar thoughts had crossed his mind many times in the years they had known each other. He had always supposed that if his commanding officer ever felt such things, he would be the one to make a move. And so it had happened.

Since Kirk slept on, the Vulcan turned on his side and faced him, propping his head one supportive hand. The other slid into the air, snaking toward Jim's face. Each finger took a turn finding the correct meld position until the heat from the complete touch startled the man awake. Spock had not initiated the mind meld yet, and lay with an expectant gaze meeting Kirk's sleepy eyes through the web of his fingers.

"Spock.. What are you doing?"

"I intend, with you permission, to renew our bond."

"R-right now?"

"As soon as possible. Is now an inconvenient time for you, Jim?"

"Well.. no! Will it be like before?"

"We began with the mind meld only to relay and share information. If you wish, this bond may be deeper and stronger."

".. Go ahead then. It's strange to not have you somewhere in my head."

"Yes, captain."

They both slowly closed their eyes and Spock began the familiar words of the meld, " Our minds.. One and together."


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the last chapter! Look for my next fanfic, hopefully will start it tonight or tomorrow! **

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Heartbeat - Chapter 7

The Enterprise crew had obviously been concerned for Spock judging by the amount of Get Well cards flung to the side of the Vulcan's bed. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the sentiments but the amount was staggering and the waste of paper on such a simple gesture irritated him. Maybe it was more irritation at having to stay in bed at the demands of McCoy.

Jim, after his slightly surprising confession, had been much more easy-going since their bond had been reinstated. He had not mentioned further the definitions of their complicated relationship since that night, and Spock was glad for it. He was alone in his quarters, when the comm device next to his began buzzing and beeping until he depressed the answer button. The doctor's bright face appeared on the screen and Spock nodded his head in greeting, despite the sour expression that graced his features.

"Well, good morning! I have your latest blood results back, Spock. And as long as you don't have any landing party excursions coming up, you're fit for duty. I patched the paperwork to the captain on the bridge so he'll be expecting you."

"Indeed? Thank you, doctor."

"Spock? Take it easy."

"I shall endeavor to 'take it easy.' Spock out."

When the communication call cut out, Spock nearly smiled. He neatly drew the blankets to the side and got out of bed with a slowness that told of his recent illness. The long hours to himself had helped with the recovery of his fully functioning mind. Only small scars still marred a few bits of his olive skin along his spine and the top rim of his pointed ears.

After a long sonic shower and dressing, the Vulcan left his quarters and with little fanfare and made his way onto the bridge. When the doors of the turbolift exposed him to the bridge crew, the sound of clapping exploded. His gaze went directly to the center, where Kirk sat in his command chair. A warm, knowing smile met Spock and he leaned his torso in a slight bow in return. Both eyebrows rose in slight embarrassment that he felt from the staff's reaction to his return. It died down and he was finally able to get to his science station just behind Jim.

"Reporting for duty, Captain."

"Wonderful to see you up and back on the bridge, Mister Spock. You were missed."

After their shift, Jim had begged the science officer to join him in his own quarters for a change of scenery. With the promise of tea and a game of chess, Spock had complied and they walked the short trek to Kirk's rooms. Once inside, the two men went to their tasks of setting up chess and ordering tea from the replicator. Jim returned to the small gaming table with two steaming cups.

"It's good to see you not horizontal, Spock. It's about time Bones let you out of bed. How do you feel?"

"Relieved that I can return to my post and normal daily activities such as this."

"Yes, but.. you're all healed up?"

Jim had walked over and reached up to the taller man, letting his fingers graze the top of the Vulcan's ear where they pointed and connected to his head.

"These don't hurt anymore?"

"The scars may remain but I am told I am fully healed. As for my mental state, I believe I am entirely fit for duty. I have not had any pain or emotional slipping in days."

"Emotional slipping.. You make emotions sound so terrible! Don't you enjoy the way you feel around me at all?"

The captain stepped back and let his hand fall, looking slightly down as he took a seat across the table and assumed his white chess pieces. Spock looked puzzled as he mimicked the gestures and set up his own side of the game.

"My feelings about our.. personal time together, Jim, are far different from the way that I have grown accustomed to dealing with my job on this ship. I am still grasping the nature of how I feel about what you have told me and if there is any logical next step."

"I've been told love is sort of the opposite of logic, Spock. I don't think you'll find your answers in meditation."

"Point taken."

"How.. did you feel when I kissed you?"

It was fairly obvious now that the game of chess was not to happen until Kirk said his piece. Spock abandoned his meticulous arrangement of pawns and looked directly into those hazel eyes across the table.

"I have a hard time explaining it. My heart began to race and I found myself wanting to close my eyes and accept you. Shall we try it again and note if the same results occur?"

Jim laughed lightly and stood up, straightening his gold shirt and shifting shoulders back importantly. The situation had become quite serious and to refrain from tackling Spock, he used a bit of humor and pursed his lips expectantly at the other man.

"Lay one on me, Spock!"

The humor was lost on the Vulcan, but he also stood and crossed the few feet between them in one stride. They were close, but not quite touching as Spock inclined his head forward and down a little toward his captain. He closed his eyes and tilted slightly to accommodate their noses in the exchange.

Feeling all of his jokes instantly leave, Jim found himself leaning up to meet Spock's kiss. When their lips met, he felt the psychic connection renew like a bright light flashing beneath his eyelids. Flutters of the Vulcan's thoughts ran through his mind- The caution, the fondness, the hesitation and finally the deep, pure love. Even if Spock couldn't name it, Jim knew what it was. He smiled into the kiss, causing it to deepen while his hand found a resting place along Spock's jaw. He cradled the man's head gently and used his fingers to gently pull them closer together.

After a few moments of tasting one another, Jim pulled away and looked up searching the dark eyes that met his.

"Logic helping you at all?"

"No, Jim. This is love."

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**Thanks so much for reading, everyone! This was a great learning experience for fanfic writing so I'm sure my future works will be much longer ( chapters and entirety! )**


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